can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
