More tranny stories later!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
