shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Everything about him screamed your future.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
