Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
