so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
