Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
