I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
