he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
