I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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