you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
ok first of all what the fuck
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
