I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I wish there were birth control emojis
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
