i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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