Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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