my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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