Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
