dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
