Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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