I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
