Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
