I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
