Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
