oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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