check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
