I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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