Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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