wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Someone signed my nipple.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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