1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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