It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
