Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
