do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
