The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Randomize
