we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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