Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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