DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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