Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
