Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
