Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
