you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
