in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
