Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
