R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
