Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
