my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
