Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
