Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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