ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
