LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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