do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
