I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
