I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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