Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
