think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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