i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
