so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
